How to start all over after divorce- a challenge to start living a normal life again.

  

People rarely express their deepest emotions, especially men. Men are taught to always act tough and emotionally strong. In addition, society’s stigma and pressure too is already there to deal with for both the parties involved in the divorce.

SNS | NEW DELHI : It has ended. There wasn’t any love or affection. Things were not working out. Okay! We invest ourselves in relationships for good. But not all times things turn out the way we plan them to be. Resuming life again as a single being after your divorce isn’t easy as it might seem to be.  Moreover, most of the time it’s a challenge to start living a normal life again.

Our lives, when lived and shared with someone for many or few years comes to an end, become uneasy and unfamiliar. The habits and the comfort we create with one other isn’t easy to disassociate even after the arrival of various differences between the two.

Floods of emotional and psychological changes start to take over our mental health. And, we don’t easily find someone who can relate to our feelings. The experience is new so are the dealings.

People rarely express their deepest emotions, especially men. Men are taught to always act tough and emotionally strong. In addition, society’s stigma and pressure too is already there to deal with for both the parties involved in the divorce.

Divorce is not easy or fun for anyone. But learning to be aware of what you feel, expressing them to someone you trust instead of repressing your emotions, accepting them, can help you make it through this time of your life. And it is the first step.

Appreciate your decision

It might sound cliched. But this is an essential step towards starting your life again after a divorce. Taking the decision to part your ways from toxicity, and choose themselves in the first place is in itself the bravest deed that one can choose to do. Appreciate yourself for being brave. And to make the decision to walk away from the situation that wasn’t good enough for your mental and emotional well being. 

Take your time and just be

You are going through an emotional rollercoaster ride already. Be mindful of what and how you feel, and your action. Don’t pretend, or be in a rush to find another partner. Sit with yourself, give time to yourself to heal and recover from the past emotions. Speak to your closest friends, express and share how you feel.

Rediscover yourself

Get in touch with who you were before you started concentrating entirely on problems–into the phase of separation or marriage. Discover your lost hobbies and interests again. Join a class or a group. Once you have healed you can also consider dating or meeting new people.

Be easy on yourself

Losing someone is not an easy state of mind. Try adopting a habit of doing at least one thing for yourself, only for yourself. Something that you like or enjoy doing always. Like to take a walk, drink your favorite beverage, listen to music, etc. Give yourself permission to just be and to find your happiness again.

Let it go

Doesn’t matter what went wrong, or who has the worst behavior between the two. Where and what went wrong in the relationship is now doesn’t matter. What matters is how you will take life ahead from the present moment. You can keep yourself burned with the past or let it pass away slowly.

Ask for help and take things one day at a time

Divorce can bring more responsibilities sometimes, especially, when you have children. Sometimes, a dependent partner has to struggle for a way out to be independent. Or the burden of being a single parent is not easy. One must reconnect with the other family members if it’s possible. You can ask for favors or help till the time you get back on your own feet.