What Was That About Glass Houses And Stones?

Sunil Garodia, TIR, Sunday, 4 May 2014 : It is good that Digvijaya Singh has admitted his relationship with TV anchor Amrita Rai. Ideally, there should have been nothing to hide as both are unattached adults and a consensual relationship between them does not break any laws or social mores. But since Diggy is so fond of shooting off his mouth and was in the forefront of the campaign to vilify Modi when he admitted to being married to Jasodaben, we need to question the double standards being followed by public figures.

Digvijaya says leaking of their pictures on social media sites is an “encroachment in our private life.” Yes, Mr Singh, it certainly is a nuisance and should not take place. But you are in public life. You make life hell for other politicians by picking on their private lives. So how do you expect people will let you remain in purdah? You have done nothing wrong but be rest assured that juicy details of your relationship will find its way in the media whether you like it or not. This is the price you have to pay for being a public figure or a celebrity. This is also a price you have to pay for not being circumspect with the private lives of others.

Digvijay claims he didn’t hide his relationship. But would he have come out admitting if the intimate pictures of the couple were not leaked on social media? The worst part is that he was giving moral lectures to Modi when he was himself involved in a relationship (however legal and morally correct) that he had chosen to hide from public view. The very fact that he did not disclose it meant that he thought it would have a negative effect on his public life. There is a question involved whether Amrita could have patched up with her separated husband if Digvijaya Singh had not come in her life.

There have been many other ‘affairs’ that were carried on clandestinely by public figures. Omar Abdullah has been dating NDTV anchor Nidhi Razdan, ostensibly after his divorce with his wife. But was Razdan the reason he chose to end his marriage? Shashi Tharoor lost his ministership in pursuing Sunanda Pushkar. Mohammed Azharuddin of the Congress is famous for his roving eye. He left his first wife for actress Sangita Bijlani and has now left her too. Rumours are rife about his affair with badminton player Jwala Gutta. There was the bizarre case of Chander Mohan in Haryana who embraced Islam and became Chand to marry Anuradha Balli (who became Fiza) only because Mohan was already married. Sexual desires are common across the political spectrum. Sometimes, Cupid strikes and at other times they just fizzle out after the desires are satiated.

The case of ex-Congressman N.D.Tiwari was the worst. He kept on denying that Rohit Shekhar was his son. He had lived-in with Ujjwala Sharma for many years and they had a son. Tiwari’s insistence that Rohit was not his son escalated in the need for him to go through a DNA test. The matter was peacefully resolved out of court when Tiwari finally accepted the situation. But it showed how politicians shamelessly indulge in affairs and then disown their own progeny. Legally, a child born out of wedlock but with a live-in partner of long standing has been given the same rights as that of a legal child. Tiwari, of all people, should have been aware of this.

In Modi’s case, the marriage took place when both were below the legal marriage age. It was never consummated. They have been living separately for the last 45 years. Under the Hindu Marriage Act, a desertion of more than 2 years is a ground for divorce. It was a marriage arranged by the families which really had no meaning to the youngster given to serving his country. The only mistake he made was not annulling it officially and leaving columns blank in his assembly elections till now. As one who hopes to be prime minister of India, he should have complied with the law as it exists. Either he should have taken a divorce from Jashodaben or he should have mentioned that he was married, like he has done now.

But that does not give others a right to say that he abandoned his wife. Child marriages (though banned now) used to get official sanction of the society only upon gauna (called by different names in different states), a tradition where the groom took his wife home to consummate the marriage when both gained adulthood, or even puberty in some areas. Since Modi never took his wife home to consummate the marriage, for the society as it then existed, it was no marriage at all. Both families were guilty of letting the matter lie in suspension.

The heart is an unpredictable organ. For Digvijaya Singh, it beats for Amrita Rai now. For Omar Abdullah, it beats for Nidhi Razadan. For Azharuddin, it allegedly beats for Jwala. For Shashi Tharoor, it used to beat for Sunanda. For Modi, it never missed a beat for Jashodaben, not in 45 years. An unconsummated child marriage is being held to call him various names while others are escaping with more sinister acts. Politicians have not heard about glass houses and stones.